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Fast Car

(Couldn't manage to take a nice photo with my dog :P)

The other day I was driving whilst listening to the radio. “Fast Car” was been played and, I don’t know why, but as I listen to the lyrics I felt so connected to the song. These couple of years have been a challenge for me. There have been some ups and downs that have made me question myself, my capacity, my thrive, and my ability to succeed, to the point that, once in a while, I just wanted to drive away, leave everything behind, and have a fresh start. Until this year, I felt like I was labeled, place in a box that I didn’t want to be in, and what got me the most was that I felt like I couldn’t do anything about it. I felt I had failed and thought everyone around me felt the same way about myself. Thus, every so often I got the urge to just move away to a different place, a place where no one would know me, a place I would get a new beginning and build something for myself. 

As I listen to the song, I was reminded of that feeling of just wanting to drive away and find somewhere I would truly and finally feel like I belong to. However, so far this year has taught me that running away is not the solution to a problem. The answer is to face the problem itself. This 2016 I was caught up in a place where I was forced to believe in myself once again, forced to trust my instincts, forced to fight for me. I was so focused on achieving my goal that for the first time I no longer paid attention to other people. It didn’t cross my mind what people would think of me or of what I was doing. Although the fight isn’t over and I need to fix a few things, I tend to look back at these past months and my heart fills with joy. In the midst of all, life gave me reasons to smile. More than ever I felt I had people who held my hand when I needed the most. Everyday I noticed small details that helped me focus on moving on and ease my path. I’m happy and proud of myself. In a way, although this journey has kind of being painful, I wouldn’t have it any other way because I learnt to appreciate me a bit more, if that makes sense. 

The reason why I wanted to share this with you is because hopefully, in some small way, my story can inspire you to give yourself a break, to learn to love yourself a bit more, and to help trust your instincts. Although I still want to move to a different place, I now want today do so, not to escape from anything, but because it feels right and it’s something that I've wanted to do for a long time. Once I’ve moved away, I want to be able to look back and feel peace, feel like I did my thing without been afraid. 

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